Quarantine 2nd Monday

Posted on March 23, 2020 by Joe Cummings

This is a joke, please tell me you know this is a joke.

Today was a great day for The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World. Two amazing things happened to her. No, she didn’t find more hair dye, but I’ll deal with both of the amazing things in a bit.

First, all of us remain in more or less good health. Certainly no signs of the Covid-19 virus. Only allergies and migraines. Mentally, we even had a better day, today, with no teenagers acting all teenagerly.

Instead, they were incredible. The-Youngest watched a live-stream about physics! Not a live-stream about ski-jumping fails, or what animal makes the loudest farts, PHYSICS!

The-Oldest spent nearly the entire day working on his album. It was his capstone assignment as part of grade 12, and very likely he won’t have to do it, but he needs to create, needs to make music, so he sits, alone, and composes.

Outside our house, our Prime Minister had to act like a dad scolding toddlers. Enough is enough, he said to people not social distancing.

Enough is enough, indeed.

On our streets in Langley, the RCMP were out ticketing people for gathering in large groups. On the plus side, restaurants can now deliver booze. This may be vital.

However, the best news for The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World is that she’s going back to work. She works in the library so it may not sound like good news (since it would be like swimming in a pool of infected spit), but it is good news, since she’ll be working from home.

And here’s the thing, this onlining is becoming the norm. How amazing is it that we can so quickly adjust to the changing world. Oh, sure, perhaps we could change faster but we are in a historic time, something not seen by the Gen Z, Millenials, GenX, or the Boomers, and we are learning as fast as we can.

Already, gyms, places of worship, and universities have gone online. Hell, you can sign up for Yale right now. It’s free.

How cool is that?

For The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World, she’ll be doing some training for a few weeks, then it’s unclear what she’ll do or how the libraries will operate, but it’s cool they’re trying to work that all out. Already they are doing online story-book time. Maybe they’ll do something online where you can practice yelling at them for charging for overdue books. Or they can show you how they deal with drunks peeing on the books.

Either way, she’s excited. She loves the library and the people who work there. She may not have the human contact, yet, but she’ll have her job back and that means so much to her.

The 2nd thing was a video call from The-Cutest-Baby-in-the-World.

Since the boys, age 13 and 17, haven’t sired any grandchildren yet, at least that we know of, we get great joy from our niece and today she called. She called to show Auntie her feet. And to say she likes puppies. And simply to laugh and smile. She’s 17 months old.

Gosh, Facetime is cool.

After the call, The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World danced around the house like an electrocuted pixie, about as happy as she’s been in two weeks.

With luck, on Thursday, we’ll get the go-ahead to be able to head out. More on that on Wednesday, but for now, I’m loving the idea of having a small measure of freedom back. Who knows that the world will look like in 3 days, but I know we’ll manage.

Be safe, be healthy and respect this new world.

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Quarantine Sunday

Posted on March 22, 2020 by Joe Cummings

We’re all doing fine, though allergies are now hitting The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World (or to quote her, “Noooooooooo! Allergies? Now? Really?”

Outside the house: They’re closing all outdoor public recreation facilities and public beaches. (About time, I say.)  Apparently, 30% in BC are not practicing social distancing. (Oh FFS people! FFS!!!!!! ) As well, no lockdowns, yet (because, I don’t know, they hope people will stop being morons? That’s like hoping that there’ll be three patties in a double quarter pounder or that they’ll make a good new Star Trek series.)

So, let me give you an insight into life at home today.

The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World said, “You know what, it’s kinda surprising, but I have no desire to drink.”

To which I responded (as all good husbands should) Challenge accepted!

*Shouts to The-Youngest* “Drum time! 2 hours of non-stop playing!”

*Shouts to The-Oldest* “Schoenberg! Now.”

*Runs to cook kippers and onions.*

*Vegas rushes to the front door to bark at everyone*

The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World heads for the liquor cabinet. She takes a huge bottle of tequila down.

Then hits me with it.

Ok, I think we’re going a bit stir crazy. How can TV and video games not be enough? Simple answer, they’re just not. This is coming as a huge shock in my life. HUGE. It’s like believing in Jesus, then seeing him, then finding out who you really saw was Russel Brand.

Add one more thing to how my life had been utterly shattered.

So here’s my top 10 things to do during this crisis, (that we did today, so you know they’re tested!).

  1. Watch a 10-year-old Roomba vacuum the floor. It scared the dog, but the Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World watched it like a starving cat watches a fat mouse. I think I heard her giggling. (I may have to rethink what she did with the tequila bottle after hitting me with it.)
  2. Play Geometry-dash. I’ve been told it’s a game that forces you to use your mind, so I haven’t played it, but The-Youngest says it’s great. (Ok, FYI, it has nothing to do with Geometry!!!! I have been fooled.)
  3. Write a song (or start a blog or write a book). Maybe finger paint, but don’t do like The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World did and write “what is the matrix?” on the walls in her blood.
  4. Get chased by rats and brutal inquisitors in a terrifying game called Plague Tale.
  5. Wear leggings. Wait, hold on, not me, The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World did. Get that image of me in leggings out of your mind, or you’ll go mindblind.
  6. Do silly walks the whole day. The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World said it was her leggings. Hmmm.
  7. Make a list of lists. Yes, that’s me going insane, (which, by the way, is on list #4, things I’m going to do when I go insane)
  8. Organize the dog storage area. It excited Vegas since I kept shifting around her food it was like I was going to feed her, but it felt great to throw old stuff out, make a container for meds (and label it), and find small shelves for treats, clippers and combs. If I can’t control the universe, I can control how and where old chewie toys get stored.
  9. Admit you don’t know a word and look it up. Mine was Sundowning. Look it up. I can’t remember if I actually did. Did I?
  10. Finish off a TV show together. We’re 1 episode away from the end of Community. Cool. Cool. Cool.

As I was finishing off the blog, The-Youngest sat down beside me. “Hey, what are you doing?”

Me: My blog.

Whatcha blogging about?

Me: Us and the isolation.

Sounds boring.

Me: It is. Not sure why people are reading it. I think they like my memes.

That makes sense. Why you doing it?

Me: Bored.

Makes sense. Thanks.

Me: Great chat.

No problem.

******

Anyway, things are basically fine here, but the moment I bend out of time and space and look into the future, I get a wave of panic and anxiety that hits the level I’ve only had when my first wife was dying. It’s a horrible feeling and, sadly, no amount of willing it away works, so I’ll do my best to live in the moment and control the things I can control.

“Stop the motherf*cking drumming right now!”

Be safe, be healthy and respect this new world.

This has to be big!

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Quarantine Saturday

Posted on March 21, 2020 by Joe Cummings

Quaranteens!!!!!

Day 10 of our isolation. Seems like day 100.

Bondi Beach closed due to morons ignoring crowd rules. Italy hits 4825 due to too many ignoring social distancing. British Columbia’s top doctor ordered all personal service establishments – such as salons and spas and whorehouses, to be shut down, though to be fair, I added the last business.

Life inside our zoo changed little today. For the first time, after doing much research, we decided it was safe to order something in, but being super worried at the moment, we wiped down all the containers, put the food on clean plates, then tossed the containers out. And washed our hands about 100 times.

The food was delicious and, to help the local economy, we ate local. Zythos. Good food. Easy delivery.

Lego building is meditative.

I had a bad day for actually getting anything done. I don’t know what happened, but the day ended without a single job on my list done. Meanwhile, The-Oldest finished off yet another music piece and The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World did yoga, made everyone’s bed, washed her bras, recharged her car battery, did the dishes, chatted with her friends and her mom, and made a cool lego model.

Goddamn, I have to do better tomorrow.

Luckily, I wasn’t the worst offender. The-Youngest got out of bed, YouTubed, gamed a bit, and began work on his 1/100 rollercoaster scale model.

Wait, dammit, he did do more than me, too.

I guess we’re all dealing with this in our own way, but I do not want to have another wasted day like today.

Since I have nothing more to say that wouldn’t be a rant about idiots not distancing, lack of face masks, ventilators, cleaning supplies and a gigantic variety of grocery items, here are 10 quotes to remember for these trying times:

  • “Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.” Douglas Adams.
  • “We’re in the stickiest situation since Sticky the Stick Insect got stuck on a sticky bun.” Edmund Blackadder.
  • “There are a great many people in the country today, who through no fault of their own, are sane.” Monty Python.
  • “Reality continues to ruin my life.” Calvin (from Calvin and Hobbes). “It’s not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.” Calvin, again, cuz he’s wise.
  • “Any day spent with you is my favorite day. So, today is my new favorite day.” Winnie the Pooh.
  • “Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.” Dave Barry.
  • “Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.” Voltaire.
  • “I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” Steven Wright.
  • “Folks, I don’t trust children. They’re here to replace us.” Stephen Colbert
  • “If I get quarantined for two weeks with my wife and I die. I can assure you it was not the virus that killed me.” All husbands across the world.

Me in 4 days. Except, you know, I am a little less black and a lot less cool

Thanks to everyone who’s keeping in touch with us, and for those sharing or liking the blog. It’s my way of getting through this, though I think my sense of humor failed today.

Be safe, be healthy and respect this new world.

Some advice on mental health here.

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Quarantine Friday

Posted on March 20, 2020 by Joe Cummings

Ok, I’ll admit it, I’m spending way too much time on FB

I saw an Instagram meme that said, breaking news…

Good lord, wtf now?

That was how the day felt. Not that anything went particularly bad, but I felt like a dog that worried about being hit for something he didn’t understand that he did wrong. I think the stress of it all is getting to me.

Luckily The-Oldest decided to play his latest composition. Unluckily, it was titled, “Insanity” and man did it live up to its name. I have never wanted to rush over and axe the piano into little bits more in my life.

So, state of the world? Single factory working 24/7 to keep Kraft Dinner on the shelves. That’s commitment, folks. Langley closed the public playgrounds today. A good move, if a little late. There’s a move to put Christmas lights up to brighten the night. Means I have to get on the roof, so I may put this off for a bit.

Inside, well, things were as normal. Got up. Took temperature. Made coffee. Dreamed of Timmies coffee. Missing Timmies. May have teared up a bit. Temperature normal. Put on pants. Let dog out. Feared one day soon I wouldn’t bother with pants at all. Looked at beautiful morning.

Came back in. Ate cookies for breakfast and felt bad about it. First boy up at 11. He decided to play music to destroy my soul. 2nd boy up at 12. He put pants on his head and a shirt through his legs. I think we were all going a little squirrely.

Ate lunch. Dreamed of Earls. Missing Earls. May have teared up a bit.

this poor cat was trying to escape from the evil, orange cat

Found a cat at sliding door to the deck. He wanted in. We couldn’t let him in. Our dog would never forgive us.

Watched cat for a long time. Like people-without-TV long.  Discovered cat was trying to get away from our dog’s arch-nemesis, the mean Orange cat.

The Orange cat sat in the shade, trying to hide behind a tree, waiting to bully the smaller cat that came to our sliding

The evil, orange cat lurks in the shadows

door. The Orange cat, though, will not come close to the house due to our berserker-doodle, old as she is, going nuts and running after her, so the nice, small cat left when the evil Orange cat went to eat baby birds or write Mein Kampf or something.

Started a new book. Got 10 pages done. Made the mistake of watching the news. Such a bad idea, but the part of me that needs to know is fighting against the part of me that says, maybe it’s best not knowing how many jackasses are still not social distancing.

Had a family meeting to update family on the current situation. Family meetings are important. New guidelines. We are no longer privileged assholes. We need to watch what we spend and how we spend it. The-Youngest was horrified that included him.

Stood on the balcony for 10-15 minutes. Not sure why. I wasn’t going to jump. Honest. The dog poo in the backyard would cushion my fall.

Watched Kill Bill 2 with The-Oldest. The-Youngest had fled upstairs to contemplate how he was going to survive without Xbox live or trips to Playland. At 6:00, he made supper, though. Pizzas. It was amazing!

At supper, we discussed what we missed.

The-Oldest, much to my shock, said people. He had bowling trips planned with his band, concerts in old folk’s homes, a musical to perform, and, to quote him, “at least 5 sleepovers.” He missed being at school and his music teacher, and his piano teacher and law class and sleepovers, did he mention sleepovers? Apparently, he’s a people person now.

The-Youngest said he misses hockey and going to Playland (would it have even been open? He says yes.) He misses having his infected toe fixed. And he misses getting supplies to make his model rollercoaster.

The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World misses Timmies, too. She thinks she’ll cry when she tastes a Timmies coffee, again.

But what she really, really misses are the social parts of life.  She misses her coworkers, her Baba, her family, and her friends. Socializing on social media isn’t quite the same. She’s had a couple of real phone conversations, today, but she needs so much more.

However, she also misses not being told what NOT to do.

She’s one who if she’s told that she can’t do something, then she really, really wants to do it. I can’t go walking? Well, now I want to go for a hike. I want to go on a big hike. I can’t do it naked, well, I want to go on a hike, naked, and I’m going to sing songs from Sound of Music and hug everyone I see, cuz no one is the boss of me.

I’m kinda the same. I nearly got kicked out of Greece because I opened a gate that said don’t go past this point and I seriously couldn’t stop myself from going past that point (and the less said about what happened at the whole ‘Sacred Monastery’ the better.)

Lots of things I miss, really, but for me, it’s normalcy. It’s not waking up in a mild state of anxiety and going to bed in an even worse state of anxiety. It’s not knowing what new shit is about to hit this fast-spinning fan. I miss planning out travel adventures and D&D games and going to a movie theater and eating my weight in buttery popcorn with extra butter.

yup

For our dog, Vegas, I think she’s having the time of her life. Everyone is home. She’s getting all sorts of guilt treats. And she’s being used as a stress reducer (lots of pats and rubbies), so yeah, she’s in heaven. Plus, she doesn’t watch the news anymore.

However, by the end of the day, we had come up with a new punishment. Not doing chores? Then you have to listen to Joe explain the Crusades, the etymology of the word dab, or what makes a good dwarven character in D&D. It should work like a charm.

Tomorrow, good lord, who knows what’s coming our way, but at least we have each other and someone (me) who can explain things in 4,000 words instead of 2.

Be safe, be healthy and respect this new world.

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Quarantine Thursday

Posted on March 19, 2020 by Joe Cummings

presents!!!!

Delivery day is like Christmas here.

Ok, I’ll explain later, but our day started out well enough. No one had a temperature, and The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World who felt ‘like poo’ last night, got a good sleep and managed to blaze through her version of the cold by morning (though I was up all night checking on her.)

Outside, some good news, mostly about the possibilities of vaccines, student loans being on hold for 6 months, Canadian Tire and Staples staying open, and Sunwing was offering free rides home for us Canucks. However, stores remain hammered by panic buying, and while most of us are starting to practice social distancing, a substantial number are not and that’s not good.

oh the noise, the noise

Inside, we ran into our first case of stir crazy. The-Youngest, having had all his Trumtookas, Whohoopers, Blumbloopas and Gardookas confiscated, had no way to really annoy us, so he bounced around the house like a tick looking for someone to bite.

So, we sent him into the driveway to shoot hockey balls. Bang, boom, bang, clatter. But that was still better than him trying to pry the light switches off the walls.

It’s funny. If we said, go outside today and play with your friends, he’d want to stay inside and play video games and watch YouTubers. Tell him he has to play video games and watch YouTubers and he wants to be outside.

Sigh.

So, then, tomorrow, it may be time for some mowing and weeding and maybe washing the mustang. Odds are when confronted with that, he’ll choose watching Brooklyn 99 and getting slaughtered in Rainbow Six Siege.

As for The-Oldest, he made supper for everyone and then settled in for a 24 hour Minecraft marathon!

Now, I love to game, but 24 hours of gaming? I’d be a mess (and likely psychotic… or more psychotic.)

The-Oldest was a little squirrely today, too, but he takes his excess energy out on the piano, and if you’ve ever heard the Mephisto waltz, it’s, ah, not easy-listening music (more like something from a horror film), so he’s all good, now.

Thank goodness.

But the reason delivery day feels a little like Christmas is because we can’t get out and actually buy stuff, so we have to order it all online.

Ordering is simple enough, but when everything is out, the shelves are empty and no one seems to be carrying vital supplies like jolly ranchers or hemorrhoid cream, it really becomes a game of ‘what will they bring?’

So when the order arrives, (and after the delivery person leaves), I rush to the door and bring in all the bags. No bananas but they did have jello. No feminine hygiene products, but they did have a big ass bag of buns. No cleaning supplies, but they did have beef broth.

Sometimes we get basically what we ordered, but just a little off. Dove shampoo? Sure, but it’s 2-in-1 special thick hair version. Or instead of cheese slices, we get cheese sticks.

It’s all ok, because at least it’s food or stuff we need, and I mean, hey, aren’t we just the privileged society that would complain about having shampoo AND conditioner in one container.

Ha!

Tomorrow, more calls have to be made to see what I can do to mitigate the stock market crash thing. Can I readjust my mortgage? Can I get the property tax postponed? Can I get a lottery ticket delivered?

As well, I’ll ask everyone in the house what they missed doing, but until then, everyone please stay safe, practice good distancing and be kind to those who are working their asses off so I can have a mars bar.

For anyone who’s interested in helping, here’s a link and some info.

what to do

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Quarantine Wednesday

Posted on March 18, 2020 by Joe Cummings

Be like the Scandinavians.

Today was a day of learning and figuring out what to hide.

After a day of self, self-quarantining, I woke up feeling better than I have for days. Sometimes a cold is just a cold. I felt very lucky to have just had a cold.

It’s one of the challenges right now. There are people with allergies, with colds and even a few with the seasonal flu, but everything is seen through the lense of Covid19.

The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World did heroic duty yesterday, so good, in fact, that I thought about saying I was still sick so I could be waited on hand and foot. But I didn’t. And with the extra energy, I managed to get some jobs done around the house.

Outside the house, Tim Hortons is now only doing drive-thru, some ferry sailings have been canceled, and cinemas are shut down. But some banks are now offering deferred payments on mortgages, so at least that’s some good news in a sea of bad news.

Inside the house, we decided to make it a learning day. The-Oldest was taught how to properly clean and disinfect a bathroom. He worked hard and if there’s a germ left anywhere in that room, I’d be surprised.

The-Youngest was taught how to use Excel. Not that he had a great burning desire to be an accountant, but hes ‘planning an epic rollercoaster vacation for when the crisis is over. In the past, he had to redo all his calculations but now, oh boy, he can simply input something, and it automatically updates. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so excited to use a spreadsheet (except maybe The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World, who gets all gigglie even just loading up the program.)

Then, just for laughs, and because if may become important, “we played, what can you make with this?”

Basically, we made supper from 3 days of leftovers. There wasn’t enough of any one thing to make a meal, so we had to mix and match a lot to make it work.

I don’t think the boys had fun. They looked at their plates like we’d told them to eat live larva covered in cat poo. But we’ve had the privilege of not having to worry about food before, and so this is all new stuff for the boys. No more pizza nights, even if they do deliver, we simply don’t have the money for it.

With luck, things will turn around, heck, China is reporting no new cases today, but we in the land of freedom have a long way to go before we reach that point, I suspect. It’s the problem with freedom, there are a lot of people who believe this isn’t a huge problem and so, it will be.

As for what we learned to hide in our house… well, now, let me be honest with everyone and say that part of quarantine is not being driving insane by your children (or, The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World would argue, your husband.)

My advice. Hide all recorders, trumpets, drum sets, whistles and accordions. Hide darts, hockey sticks and hockey balls, dead things, and anything that can shoot anything . Hide the passwords to unrestricted internet access. Hide sugary drinks, candy, and potato chips (though this one might be for me as well.) Hide (or ban) anything that will drive you nuts.

Trust me on this, unrestricted access to those things will likely result in parental insanity. We had no idea how bad it could get until The-Youngest, while bored and prowling through the house, found a box of old musical instruments.

Oh the horror. The horror.

Anyway, thanks, again to everyone who’s sent notes to us, worried about us and passed the blog along to others. I hope that by writing these posts, I can touch on things we all have in common, things that terrify us, or things that inspire us.

We will get through this. Like I said yesterday, this will be our finest hour.

Oh, and in case you have someone infected… look here.

Advice for caring for someone infected

 

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Quarantine Tuesday

Posted on March 17, 2020 by Joe Cummings

Rosie the Riveter

Make no mistake, this outbreak, how we react, how we treat others, how we weather this storm will be a defining moment in our lives. It’s our JFK assassination, 9-11, the 2008 financial collapse, or Pearl Harbour.

What we do matters.

Will we be like our grandparents or great-grandparents who sacrificed in WW2 or the Great Depression?

Will we give into panic or become our better selves?

The book is being written as we speak.

For us, it was another day indoors, though it was wonderful outside and we could have mowed the lawn, dug some holes or weeded some weeds. However, the chief slave-driver wasn’t able to drive the slaves.

Instead, he, that is to say, ME, had to be quarantined within the quarantine.

See, I got sicker. Not in a super bad way, but like I caught a head-cold or something. All sniffles and snot. But it could be something else, and that COULD drive a lot of what we do, now. So I cleaned and sanitized everything I touched in the last days then locked myself in the TV room to binge watch Outlander and Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Not a bad gig, really. The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World made food for me, brought me water, cut up watermelon chunks for me, and looked after the boys, all while staying at least 10’ from me.

Our dog, Vegas did not like the closing of the borders. Dogs are uber social creatures and she hated that she couldn’t just go from family member to family member and sniff their crotch.

For The-Oldest, too, it was a hard day. Today they canceled school, which means they canceled the grad ceremonies, the Little Mermaid musical he’d worked so hard on, and what was going to be ‘the best year ever.’ I hate that it had to happen, that he has to go through this, but I suspect all parents in all the great world-wide crises hated this to happen.

For The-Youngest, he’s oddly not been in touch with his friends. He’s played a lot of on-line games, but against unknown players, not his friends. With luck, he’ll connect with them tomorrow. However, he wasn’t too upset to hear about the closing of the schools. He might be upset when he learns he still has to learn and I’ll be the one cracking the whip.

Outside of our house, the BC government declared a state of emergency, though to be honest, I’m not sure what that means. Now we panic? Now, they, ah, start to take this seriously?

As well, the province has also launched a dedicated coronavirus information line.

1-888-COVID19.

I haven’t tried it yet, and don’t want to phone up only to ask “Is this thing working?” Certainly, the 811 was a good idea, but when people are unable to reach it, it becomes a little like Heaven – You know you want to get there, but most of us can’t.

Oh, and there’s a new self-assessment tool! https://covid19.thrive.health/  Check it out.

Anyway, as promised, I’m going to look into my crystal ball and make a few predictions, though one I stole from The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World. Here are my top 5.

  • Men will be a lot more comfortable using hand lotion. It’ll become a thing. Heck, my hands are so raw from washing over and over and over, that they feel like the surface of mars (or at least what I imagine the surface to be since Elon Musk hasn’t let me go to Mars yet.)
  • We will all gain a lot of weight and, by ‘we’, I mean me. So much for my new diet, there’s simply too much stress eating (and for some reason, it’s easy to get a bag of chocolates and not so easy to get an order of bananas.)
  • We’ll find out what everyone’s hair color is. Mine won’t change, but can this be said of everyone? (Mine went completely grey after The-Youngest’s first game as a goalie.)
  • Social distancing will become a forever thing. Like flip flops.
  • Forget toilet paper, I’m betting the currency will be feminine hygiene products. I should stock up, but I’m super embarrassed to get a cart full of extraflow, super heavy duty, maxi pads.

Let this be OUR finest hour

And that’s it.

Please, everyone, be safe, send some love to someone by phone or the internet, and remember this may be our finest hour.

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Quarantine Monday

Posted on March 16, 2020 by Joe Cummings

The stock market plunges.

I won’t lie, my anxiety level has increased, but I read some interesting information I’d like to share… well not word-for-word share, but share the meat of it, as it were.

But first of all, thanks to all the kind people who’ve sent us emails, texts, messages or instagrammer thingees asking about us. We’re all still fine, getting up in the morning, taking our temperatures, eating ice cream at 2pm (not sure that’s on the doctor’s orders, but whatever), and trying not to obsessively watch news about the Covid19 crisis.

Beyond our walls, Canada closed its borders to non-citizens, the stock market took another massive beating, (down a total of 27% since this darned thing started, hence my stress level) and the ferries are allowing us to stay in our cars while crossing.

Good lord.

However, on a day with great weather, we had fun indoors. Indoors is not such a bad place, as it turns out.

The epic blanket fort is proving to be a huge draw for The-Youngest who has claimed it like Germany claimed Poland.  He is now an occupying power. Inside, he watches Netflix movies like the newer Get Smart (with Steve Carrel) and works his way up the leaderboards on games like Call of Duty.

The-Oldest had plans to play a 24 hour marathon of Minecraft with his friends, but that got pushed until tomorrow, so he’s only playing from 4 until midnight or something. I love hearing him singing to his friends, berating them when they’re annoying him and figuring out ways to build something epic together (a railway made of gold? Is that possible?)

Both The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World and I worked on connecting with our tribe. I contacted my lovely writer’s group, a few of my older friends, and quite a few of my American friends, who are about to be hit by an enormous healthcare Tsunami. The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World contacted her great Baba (link here for more about her) and a ton of family and friends to keep her social connections from becoming like a rusty chevy in the backyard (or my treadmill in the basement.)

Now on to people emptying shelves of food.

Why is food important? Well, for obvious reasons like we need chocolate so as not to have a complete meltdown, and we are, at our core, hunters/gatherers, so it’s in our DNA. But there’s something deeper.

Food equals safety.

Now for many of us, this is the first time we’ve had to worry about food. I mean, hey, we’re a pretty privileged society, and I’ve been grateful for that, (epically grateful, in fact, since I’m a student of history which means I’m basically a student of suffering.) Most of us have shelter, check, all of us have access to clean water, check, and power/internet is still up and running, so food becomes a very powerful thing.

Food equals safety.

And so, going to a store and actually seeing empty shelves, or in some cases, empty aisles, can be terrifying. Suddenly, we get this horrible twisting in our guts. Our hearts race. Fear begins to take hold.

However, this is where fear, like my pancakes, turns into something ugly. Fear becomes panic and when panic starts, we get runss on items in the grocery store.

Because we can’t control this virus. We can’t control what’s happening in the stock market. We can’t even control what stays open or closed. So, food becomes that small measure of security we need in a very uncertain world.

Could we run out? Maybe. But not likely. Even countries like Italy who have severe restrictions on movement and what shops can be open, are not suffering a food crisis. The basics are available. Sure, you can’t get a spaghetti alle vongole at your favourite diner run by Momma Mascioni, but you can still eat.

Comfort Food (not my picture, and not really how it looked after I made it.

So, because food equals safety (or comfort), I made a nice soup for the family, kind of an Italianie hamburger thing.

I guess at the end of the day, I am actually hopeful. My dad survived the Germans bombing London and grew up in the Great Depression. My mom made it through rationing in Canada. I think we can survive.

Tomorrow, who knows what awaits, but I’ll have some predictions for this crisis.

Stay safe, stay healthy and stay tuned.

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Quarantine – Sunday March 15th 2020

Posted on March 15, 2020 by Joe Cummings

An old-school meme.

We began the day with temperature checks and no power outages, floods, or world-ending asteroids discovered hurtling towards us. Temperatures were all good, even if we all seemed to have some sniffles. But then, we had sniffles before this whole thing, so, ah, so far, so good.

The day had news of libraries, rec centers, and Lush store closures. Now, I can’t get a book, watch old people shower or get super fancy soap that’ll keep me smelling like a rainforest.

However, looks like no one is being told when they arrive via airplane that they should self-quarantine. It seems like something someone would have passed on to the border folks, but nope, another hole in the net appears.

So, slowly, the quarantine spreads. More people are being asked to stay home, more businesses like Starbucks are changing the way they operate (Starbucks is going to drive through only) and many more countries are putting in travel bans.

We’re trying to work that curve, man, work that curve.

Now, today I had plans to do jobs, but I made a classic husband blunder – I talked to The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World BEFORE she had coffee.  I said, hey, let’s do this and this and then that and after lunch, that thing, then another thing.

For her, anything said before her coffee is usually met with growls. “Mom, can we build a rollercoaster in the back yard?” Grrr-umph. “Mom, wanna hear 2 hours of atonal music?” Damm-grrrr-ack. “Hey, Cutie, I got a whole list of fun jobs to- ” (Strangles husband).

So, it wasn’t to be a jobbie day, but I managed to convince The-Youngest to set up our Dashcam purchased a year ago, and agreed to watch The Lighthouse with The-Oldest if he did the dishes without being asked for a whole week. The-Youngest and I also worked on finding an Xbox game that everyone would love.

The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World took on the task of making sure many of her friends and family were ok. Since we can’t leave the house, that means either talking to them on the phone or chatting away on FB (or her newest love, Instagram chat).

It’s something I think we all need to do. The more we isolate, the more we need to make the effort to say hi to people we love. Send a text, chat in messenger, heck, use that old landline if you really must, but stay in touch. A lot of people are afraid or feeling lonely, or simply no longer being visited, so taking that time may be the way we all give back a little in this crisis.

See, there are things to worry about. The world has to do a delicate balancing act between saving as many people as possible and making sure the whole world doesn’t fall into a Great Depression, with supply chains collapsing, wages gone and no one providing goods and services in our very complex economy.

But being afraid is natural. There are so many unknowns and unknowns scare most of us more than wasps the size of birds or bungee jumping naked. But panic, ah, that’s another whole different story. Panic causes all sorts of stupid things to happen. Toilet paper hoarding. Being nasty to Chinese people. Buying pot stock.

And keeping in touch with our friends and family might just mitigate a bit of that panic response as well. No one has to be alone in this.

For me, I lost one wife (to cancer) and the fear of losing The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World (my bright sunshine of happiness), well, that’s a big one, and if we lost either of the boys, gosh, how would one even survive that? If I let the fear morph into panic, she’d likely be locked in a room, dressed as a female elf (just because) and never let out until this whole thing passed.

Instead, both her and I want to make the most of the time we have together. We want to think of this quarantine as a blessing. It’ll do no good if anyone (and by that I mean. ME) wanders around all mopey and afraid. Likely it’ll all blow over, perhaps in a few months, perhaps sooner, and I know one thing for sure. I won’t regret a single moment we share together.

If things go really bad, we’ll be ready. If things get better quickly, where’s the downside of family time?

I really believe this crisis will define us, like Pearl Harbour defined one generation, like the moon landing or JFK defined another, or heck, how 911 changed the world we live in.

jackbox quarantine corona virus

For a great game, try Jackbox.tv!

So, to that end, we had a great supper together, played games in the evening and laughed like there wasn’t a care in the world. The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World did yoga with The-Youngest (and our dog) and spent time listening to a free VSO livestream snuggled in her favourite purple chair with The-Oldest.

Time well spent, I would say.

Tomorrow will bring what tomorrow will bring. I’m desperately trying to learn to live in the moment.

 

 

 

 

 

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Our Days of Quarantine – Saturday

Posted on March 14, 2020 by Joe Cummings

For Saturday, an update and a secret to surviving this that I’d like to share. No not the secret in the meme, something really, you know, secret.

First, let’s look at where we stand.

Travel bans are expanding to every country. We even have a soft quarantine on the US and other foreign travel. We’re being advised to socially distance ourselves.

As well, the grocery stores are packed like it’s Christmas and they’re giving away free turkeys. And Timmies sent me an email saying please come back, they’re doing their best (cuz with me not going, their coffee sales have dropped by 12% and their donut sales by 55%).

For us, the day began with a moment of terror.  We had no power! It was bad enough I couldn’t get a Timmies coffee, but this????

And worse, with two teenage boys, it would be like a jail running out of cocaine and toilet gin. The inmates would riot.

Luckily, by the time everyone had struggled out of bed, we had power. Little did the boys know they came this close to doing a day of chores. But we needed a few supplies, so I took that on.

Now, like hobbits preparing for a siege, we’re pretty well stocked up, but we still had a few gaps, and since we couldn’t go out, I made my first online delivery order from Superstore. We’ve used Save On in the past, but their site was down and I needed cream for my homemade coffee, so I HAD to find a new supplier.

I have to say, Superstore did a great job, though they were out of things like fruit and chicken (and likely toilet paper, but I didn’t need any.) I ordered everything at about 11 and by 2, I had my cream, bags of chips for the boys, some unexpectedly huge containers of ice cream (hey, they looked small in the picture) and supplies to make at least three dinners.

We were now set.

Health-wise, none of us seem to be affected so far. When we woke up, we all took our temperatures and had normal results. That’s good news. If it spikes, then we’ve been told to call our doctor, again, and we’ll see where we go from there.

It’s the state of the world, but let’s face it, we’re better off than some countries.

Ok, sure the whole ‘call 811’ thing for answers isn’t working because they’re simply overwhelmed by calls, but we got through to our doctor so it all worked out. Thing is, this pandemic will put an enormous strain on our ability to provide healthcare, so we’re trying to do our part (as are many more now, at least according to FB posts.)

My hope is that they can balance the curve. See video here.

Ok, so it’s been a little frustrating dealing with the medical folks, but that’s kind of to be expected, right? None of us are good at sitting around and waiting for stuff to happen. A part of our big challenge is that we want to know now, we want our families to be safe, now, and we want to be cured. Now.

In the meantime, though, here’s the secret I told you about earlier… it’s a secret on how to survive in quarantine.

Shhh.

*whisper voice* It’s ok to spend time apart in the same house.

The Great Blanket Fort of 2020

Cuz that’s what we did today. The-Oldest played online games with his friends, while The-Youngest battled the world in Call of Duty.

I worked on figuring out online ordering, which for me is like a handicapped monkey trying to figure out how to put together an ikea wardrobe. And The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World worked on household duties and catching up with all her friends.

Our plan is to watch a movie together tonight, but other than that, we’re in our own spaces doing our own things.

In a perfect world, we would have been tested and found out for sure if we had the virus or not, but since that option is not available, we’re just chillin’, waiting the whole thing out.

So, life is good here, even if it’s fraying at the edges and a storm rages around us.

Inside the great blanket redoubt

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