Nothing went as I thought it would, today, but that’s not always a bad thing (despite my need to control everything in a god-like way.)
First, in the outside world – Boris Johnson, the English prime minister, is getting better. He’s not my prime minister, so I really shouldn’t care, but I do. I’m glad to see him recover.
In Canada, we’re most excited to hug friends and eat out, says a local poll. I know this whole ordeal’s been super tough on The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World so hugging or simply seeing people face-to-face would be number 1, but I’m going with the ‘eating out thing’. Hello Earls french fries, I have missed you so much.
Here, I like my new long hair. I’m basically going for the Jason Momoa look minus the…ah… you know, height, muscles, and handsomeness, but it is known, I can speak Dothraki. “San athchomari yeraan!”
Anyway, here’s how I thought the day would go.
After I got my shopping done, we’d get the boys up. I imagined that would be a huge chore and would likely involve a hose, a bull horn, and a wet-willy at some point. Now, since we can’t actually beat them, the hose would be used for the application of cold water, the horn to make sure we were heard, and the wet-willy, well nothing wakes someone up faster than something wet in their ear. Then, they’d get their homework and we’d repeat the motivational procedures until everything was done.
However, that’s not how it started out- Both boys got up without nagging. They just… got up.
I thought I was dreaming.
I was gobsmacked (arguably the greatest word in the English language after moist.)
Then, The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World took them to school to collect their things. Apparently, it was relatively well-organized, and they both came back without tattoos, illegitimate children, or textbooks that weren’t their own.
However, after the boys got home, they downloaded their homework assignments.
Ah, ha! I knew how this scene played out, so I rushed to get the hose, the bullhorn, and a rubber glove for a squeakier wet-willy, but by the time I got back, the boys had started their homework without nagging. They just… started.
No, that’s not even right. They both raced to their computers and gleefully attacked all the homework that they’d been given!
I know, you think I’m fibbing, but it was like starving honey badgers finally finding, ah, honey? Anyway, I was officially super gobsmacked.
I had to sit down.
This was not how I thought the day would go at all.
Bored, I gave myself a wet willy. It is indeed, horrible.
While the boys worked on their homework (without stopping, without being nagged to go back and finish!!!!), and I stuck random wet things in my ear, The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World worked on her own homework, and then got a chance to chat to her coworkers. I heard crying, but it was happy crying. I think. She misses her friends and family a lot, and being so isolated has been difficult.
At this point, though, I’m just not sure what tomorrow will bring. The last few things I’d been certain about have been shattered as surely as my feelings at the grade 8 disco dance.
So, I may not be getting out of bed tomorrow.
In the meantime, be safe, be healthy, and respect this new world.