In honor of Mother’s Day ..
10 Words I want to see in the English Language.
- Mommage –the act of mom working
hard or carrying all the weight. “Wow, that’s some serious mommage there.”
- Mommified – the act of cleaning up a child before they head off to school. May involve such things as the use of mom-spit, bathing after a mom-sniffing or forcible changing of clothes like socks that don’t match or shorts in the middle of winter.
- Mommercise – the exercise of chasing your child around for a bath, wrestling them into clothes, running after them before they decide to chase a ball into traffic or realizing they left the water running in the bathtub and racing upstairs.
- Momsense – something moms say that actually makes sense. Wise words. “hey, when you told me not to lick the light socket, you know, that was some good momsense there.”
- Momforting – that comfort that can only be given by a mom to her child. Usually involves hugs, snuggles or a kiss on a boo-boo.
Momminator – that which the mom turns into when someone has hurt their child.
- Mommunication – the sole purpose of a cell phone, that is to say, to tell your mom where you are, where you’ve gone or when you’ll be home.
- Mombo – that dance move that moms do that embarrassed their kids (and often is done just to embarrass the kids.)
- Defconmom – the moment just before mom is about to lose her shit.
- Mawm!!! That word used when a child needs him mom like now, like right now. It’s either an arterial cut or they can’t find an eraser.
For me, I lost my mom a long time, ago. Before I could tell her how right she’d been, before I could thank her for all that she gave up for me and my brother, before I could apologize for all the times I made her angry or made her cry.
I miss you mom.
Good one joe.
Very touching Joe, and brave.
That’s a really clever list: congratulations. May I add some?
Cinnamom: one of those moms that always has baked goods ready and waiting.
Momentum: irresistible force generated by a mom that has set her mind on something (“There’s no use fighting it, dad, she’s got momentum.”)
Mumble: that quiet, under-her-breath yet so-very-audible last word that some mothers can generate.
Pessimum: best exemplified by what a pessimum says: “Put down that straw: someone will lose an eye” or “And that will put bread on the table?”. In use: “I wanted to go on the ride, but her pessimum came out and she vetoed it.”
Optimum: opposite of pessimum — she sees the best in one and has faith that things will turn out.
They’re not nearly as clever as yours….
These are brilliant! Thanks, Mike!