We’d found the place where they loaded the human cattle on to the tour bus. We chose to wait for another bus to arrive (to get a better seat), but it was so worth it. The boys got to be at the front of the bus AND on the top level (of course).
However, as we rode around (and during the whole day), it began to dawn on me that I have become Calvin’s dad.
You just never know what you’ll get if you ask me a question. Oh, you’ll get an answer, that’s guaranteed, but that answer may not always be correct.
“Joe, what happened to the dinosaurs?”
“They made Jurrasic Park 6 and that didn’t do so well, so they kinda died off.”
“What?”
*****
“Joe, can I have a monkey?”
“No, I used to be a monkey and people got mad at me for pooping in public all the time.”
What?
*****
“Joe, what’s your favourite zoo animal?”
“Tigger.”
“Tigger?!?!”
*****
“Do you think the elephants are happy?”
“Well, they don’t have a choir group, but they’re not shooting at us, so I think so.”
“Joe!!!”
*****
“Did you have animals back when you were growing up?”
“Nope, the internet invented them.”
*****
“Joe will I die if I get bit by scorpions?”
“The band or the bug?”
“Huh?”
*****
There were a lot of questions at the zoo. Sometimes I think the boys are just keying up easy ones for me to see what I’ll say. And you know what, I’m ok with that.
However, on the tour bus, we listened to the guide who seemed to know slightly more than I did (but not as much as the youngest did, at least according to him.)
We saw a lot of what we’d seen. Elephants. Camels. Condors. We saw the lions we missed. The tigers. We saw bears and hippos and hyenas. We nearly ran over people who walked in front of the bus. Twice. You’d think people would see a hulking, green double decker bearing down on them, a tourguide shouting on the loudspeaker, excuse me, please, step to one side, but you’d be surprised.
But, after hours and hours of animals, by the time the bus reached the end, we were done. At least with the animals.
Next up, a meeting with the mysterious Schmennis. And his merry band of little Schmennisesses.
About A Stepdad 
I almost snorted out my latte at the Scorpions joke. Good one.