Traveling With Kids – Legoland – Bricksburg

Posted on April 8, 2014 by Joe Cummings

The City of Bricksburg.

lego movieThe only thing the Prettiest-girl-in-the-world wanted was to see the set from the lego movie, the place where everything is awesome.

The layout of Legoland, I swear, is designed to confuse and disorient people. I won’t say we got lost, cuz, you’re never really lost, but we sure got turned around a bit. It was after striding past the same weary father sitting on a bench, his eye twitching, his stroller of twins wailing, that we realized we needed help.

So we found an employee older than us. Older than the boys grandparents. Older than the park and lego itself, I think. Anyway, he led us to the location, kinda slowly. But it was right by where Legoland had their only mascots posing for pictures.

Now, you have to understand, the boys are terrified of mascots for some reason I cannot fathom. Clowns, I get. Zombies, I get. James Woods, I get. But mascots?

The Prettiest-girl-in-the-world took the youngest by the hand, while I pointed out how pretty the sky looked to the oldest. I don’t think he was fooled at all, but we all made our way past the monsters that looked like Emmet Brickowski and Wyldstyle (have I spelled that right?) No meltdowns occurred.

Plus, unless I’m mistaken, the boys were kind of ok with it all.

Hmmm. Maybe the mecca of Disneyland can be in our future!

IMG_0204 IMG_2059 (2)Inside the sound stage, they had set up the whole of Bricksburg and oh, momma, was that a site to see. It’s “more than 1200 LEGO models made out of more than three million LEGO bricks. It took a team of ten Model Builders more than 2000 hours to assemble and a team of four Model Builders six weeks to reassemble.”

All glued as God and President Business intended (I assume, cuz I kinda rooted for PresBiz and I know he would have wanted it that way.)

IMG_0218The guide gave us a quest, too. To find Batman, Wonder Woman. That goof, the Green Lantern, and Superman. We found them all.

IMG_0203And saw Emmet dancing, saw the micromanagers battling the inhabitants of Bricksburg, saw the bunk couch that Emmet built, … OMG so much was in there.

IMG_0205The youngest ran around and around the display like I used to see the Indians do when they attacked John Wayne. Don’t see much of that anymore. He looked mesmerized by all that had been done.

And the oldest, he went to every dIMG_0197isplay, every world, and told me about who was in it, what was interesting about it and why I should care. He seriously needs to be a guide some  day.

IMG_0208 However, he said, as he stared wide-eyed at the great ship the Sea Cow, “I want to be a master builder. I wish I could do this as my job.”

Hey, anything is possible,IMG_2056 (2)

But I think the Prettiest-girl-in-the-world enjoyed it the most. She marveled at the Bricksburg bridge, the life-sized workshop set up where every brick had a place, the way this place made her boys’ eyes light up. If you go to Legoland for any reason, see this exhibit.

Then, we were almost done.

It was time to make the youngest’s wish come true.

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Traveling with kids in Legoland pt3

Posted on April 7, 2014 by Joe Cummings

Legoland pt3

project xWith the ride-of-all-ride broken (X Project), we decided to stop for food. It’s one of the rules. Avoid empty stomachs. Even if going on a rollercoaster next.

It’s hard to eat healthy in legoland.

There’s not a lot of good choices. Not a lot of apples (though there are apple fries) or carrots or salads. We did find the latter though in the pizza emporiu, but we also found, you know, pizza. The Prettiest-girl-in-the-world ate salad while the boys and I piled pizza and onto our plates like we were never going to be fed, again.

My excuse? I can’t eat much with my teeth being so sore. Crunchy salads just can’t be done, yet. Yeah, you heard me. Can’t be done. In a few days, maybe, but not now. However, had I been able to eat a salad, the truth is, I doubt I would have.

It’s vacation.

Have fun!

IMG_3400While I stuffed my face, the Prettiest-girl-in-the-world re-focused the boys. What did they REALLY want to see and do? How could we best use our time here? Where are the bathrooms?

After all, it was closing at 6. By the time we finished lunch, it was 1. That left 5 hours (and at least 30 min of that would have to be spent in the lego store.)

So we had to get our butts in gear.

Here is the adventure in pictures…

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First, the oldest and I explored the ruins of ancient lego-egypt via a minecart with a laser, (where, I might add, using said laser – a common weapon of that time – I scored the HIGHEST total on our little mining cart where the goal, for some reason, was to shoot everything in sight), while the youngest and the Prettiest-girl-in-the-world went on a plane ride, and elevator ride.  We had lineups, they had none, but fun was had.

IMG_3395

Then Joe discovered he’s a hat guy. It wasn’t even his hat. He stole it from the oldest and refused to give it back.

He also began talking about himself in the 3rd person. The appropriate authorities were contacted.

But Legoland had something great in store for the boys…

Chewie waited for them at the entrance to the path of star wars. Rorrrrraah

The youngest wanted to shake hands with every lego star wars character. How cool was that? I was just glad they’d Kragle’d the pieces together. The boy’s got a strong grip.

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I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. Ok, you saw that joke coming, but make no mistake, this recreation of the battle on Hoth was amazing. The boys told me about every model on this battlefield.

IMG_3418The mighty Sith lord, Darth Vadar met us outside the sunglasses shop. I have no idea why he was hanging around there, but the oldest had to see how he measured up.

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We got a chance to see New Orleans, Chicago, Vegas, Washingon, DC, San Francisco, Naboo, LA, and the boy’s favourite, NY city. One day, they hope to see the Empire State in person.

They even made friends with lego people who watched us ride the Power Tower, (where we hauled ourselves up a huge tower by a rope), and eat chips while the wind tried to blow away our napkins.

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We stopped for food before the boys went off to get their driver’s licenses. It was cold. It was windy. And someone, I’m not saying who, managed to make his face all orange with cheetos dust.

The boys successfully got their driver’s licenses. I don’t know why, but this terrified me. But of all the kids, they were the best drivers. By far. IMG_0195

IMG_0196

I’m not kidding.

Seriously.

Watch the video.

So far, I think we all had fun! Epic fun.

But the Prettiest-girl-in-the-world? Well, she was so very patient, so keen to let her boys do what her boys wanted to do and asked only one thing…

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Writing Detour

Posted on April 7, 2014 by Joe Cummings

Writing Detour.

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Deeper Into the Land of Lego

Posted on April 6, 2014 by Joe Cummings

Legoland pt 2

IMG_0099With all the things to see and do, the youngest chose to go into the video game building and play xbox 360 games with his brother. A game they could have played at home. Oh sure they got to sit about 2” from a 40” screen, but the prettiest girl in the world and I had to shake our heads.

Really?

A video game they could play at home?

The prettiest girl in the world put a 5 minute mommy limit on that!

So we went to … the very next building beside us. A place where robots are built. Wait, not robots, Joe!!!! It was the Lego Hero Factory. Where they, ah, build robots. No matter what the boys call them.

IMG_2024 (2)We all gathered around a round table. Inside a deep box built into the table was all we would need to create a ‘robot’ that could crush the world. No one seemed interested in building one that would save the world. No. First order, build one that would beat everyone else at the table. Next, crush the world.

The oldest built his with incredible speed. Like a master builder. Like he should do this for a living. And, if you think about it, it doesn’t make any difference if I built the world’s greatest robot (and I totally did!), if it was destroyed in the factory by a lesser, but more quickly built bot. This is a lesson the Russians taught the Germans in WWII.

IMG_0101The Prettiest-girl-in-the-world built, well, a pretty one. Color coordinated. Balanced. Good use of contrasts. The youngest, well, he ended up not building anything. He went over and took a completed one from another table.

It was then that I realized, I was far from the smartest one at the table.

Then we were off to the park, proper. We spun in the spinny ride while the Prettiest-girl-in-the-world took pictures. It was sort of like the Disney teacups so naturally I said we’d go so fast and spin so much that we’d make everyone else sick.

IMG_2030 (2)It never occurred to me that I could make them sick as well until I stumbled off the ride like a drunken frat boy, all dizzy and trying not to fall on my face.

God help me if I’d have made them sick!

But it was a good test ride. If they could survive that, then the others wouldn’t be so bad. Or so scary.

IMG_2033 (2)I think we were all a bit dizzy with what to do next. The oldest wanted to hit the rollercoasters and DEFINITELY go on the mummy ride. The youngest wanted to get wet in the worst way. The Prettiest-girl-in-the-world wanted to see the set of the lego movie and me, I wanted this to the best adventure ever.

People blurred around us as we stood debating –  A large family dressed all in the same t-shirt. A little one bundled up in stroller like it was winter in the Yukon. A dad walked by with his young girl wrapped around his leg and clinging on for life. A mom held her too-young-to-go-on-that-ride son and pointed to their dad on a roller coaster. He waved widely as he zipped by.

Smells wafted all around us as we made our way through the park. Popcorn that I can no longer eat, buttery and all popcorny. Fried onions and hot dogs. Cheezy warm pizza. Charring meat. Coconut sunscreen. All things I can no longer eat.

Then we hit the first real disappointment.

IMG_2032 (2)See, in all the videos and ads, they don’t show the lineups. We’d talked to the boys about this, but seeing one, standing in one for a half hour, well, that’s a whole other level of realization.

It’s frustrating to inch along while other people shriek with fear (or glee) on a ride you really want to ride. Like now.

It’s worse, though, when, after waiting 20 min in line, the ride breaks down.

That’s exactly what happened on the project X rollercoaster. I stood by, waiting for my camera moment, (not cuz, like, I was scared or anything… I’m not scared, really, I’m not), but when they declared a technical difficulty, that the rollercoaster was out of commission, the Prettiest-girl-in-the- world decided it may be time for food.

It was now noon.

We’d been there for 2 hours and basically done 2 rides, built some robots (ok, ok, Hero thingees!), played video games and gone beserk in the toy store.

We only had 4 hours left. 3, after food.

Things would have to change if we had any hope of seeing what needed to be seen. And doing things that needed doing.

 

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Land Of Lego

Posted on April 6, 2014 by Joe Cummings

Legoland pt 1

Would it meet expectations? Would it be all the boys hoped for, dreamed about, sang about?

A lot of people decided to see Legoland on this cold, grey day. More would have come if it was sunny, but the lineup to get into the parking lot was not that bad. Took 20 minutes depending on how you count where the line actually started.

IMG_2014 (2)We looked out the window at the legomen built by the side of the road. People-sized lego. One had a snake. the boys like snakes. One had a legoman taking a picture of his three lego buddies and in his viewfinder, they’d lego’d his three friends. IN HIS VIEWFINDER! That’s attention to detail!

As we inched forward, we planned what we would see first, which way we’d turn to get there, what ride they were most excited to go on, what thing they were most excited to see. By now, the boys were all gigglie and excited and ready to explode like air bags out of the car.

We parked in the preferred parking for $10 extra dollars. My thinking was, at the end of the day, literally, I would likely pay a billion dollars not to have to walk any farther than I had to on sore feet. I try to go for a walk every day, but this would be the first time in a LONG while that I would walk for hours and hours and hours.

But experience told me three things. Wear good shoes. Sit whenever you can, even if it’s on a spiky fence railing. And shave off any walking distance you can.

The boys leapt out the car like sled dogs waiting to pull a sled. The prettiest girl in the world and I got out, took the backpack and a very deep breath. To their credit, the boys, unlike some little kids all excited and stuff, did not race across the parking lot. They walked with us. Even stood still for a picture, though, as you can see, still is a relative word.

IMG_2016 (2)I would have preferred sunshine, to be honest. A lot of it. Not only was I wearing a layer of sunscreen so thick I could have scraped off a layer and covered a schoolbus full of children. The Prettiest-girl-in-the-world tittered at me when I put it on, but I’m an indoor Joe and burn easily so I didn’t want to take a chance.

Plus we had all dressed for warm weather. See. Shorts. T-shirts. Awesomely cool hats.

No coats or hoodies. Oh, they were back at the hotel, but in the backpack, ah, no.

So, first stop, get some hoodies!

entrance to legoland (800x600)We bought the tickets, $300 worth, and I gave them to the oldest so he could present them to the ticket taker person. I said they’d ask, could I see your tickets, please, sir? And he was to reply, in his best English accent, why yes ma’am, I have them right here.

First disappointment, she just said, “tickets?” which totally threw off the oldest. He replied, “Errr, yes, umm, I, err … tickets!” Then he thrust them at her, head down.

I told the agent what I thought she’d say and she smiled and told the oldest that he had something on his shirt and when he looked down, she flicked his nose. And old trick but it made us all laugh.

All the lego workers, (at the risk of giving any spoilers) were amazing and friendly and awesome.

IMG_0096 (800x600)Then we found two hoodies for the boys in what was called The Big Store and all the boys (me included) went a little bat-sh*t crazy at all the lego we could buy (I mean, they had a hobbit hole lego kit for the love of Gandalf!!!!! Who would not want to buy that?!?!?!)

The prettiest girl in the world dragged us out and the youngest chose the place he wanted to see first.

Was it the coolest ride in the universe? Was it the more awesome lego structure (which for me was the HUGE Einstein face)? Was it food or a bathroom or something where one brother got to spray another brother in the face?

It was something I never expected.

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Heading Towards Where Everything Is Awesome

Posted on April 5, 2014 by Joe Cummings

Heading Towards Where Everything Is Awesome

IMG_0600It was the goal of the whole trip. Legoland. So, first day, we geared up to see that wonderland.

We buttered ourselves from head to toe in sunscreen. We put on shorts and short sleeved shirts. We packed swim trunks. We were ready for the hot SoCal weather.

Only one problem.

The sky was grey. A heavy grey. And surprisingly cold. Like Vancouver cold.

It didn’t really matter. The boys were excited. I was excited. We were going to legoland.

mormon templeWe hopped into our less-than-speedy Galant, and drove north. Along the way we spotted a shining Mormon temple impressively rising towards the sky, all white and full of pointy bits. The youngest said he was happy God made him alive.

I thought that was a pretty deep thought for early in the morning.

We discussed what heaven would be like. Apparently, according to the oldest, I can have a cloud island. Kinda cool. I told them I thought heaven would be where I’d meet everyone I’d ever loved and lost.

prez businessAs we puttered along the highway, we played ‘what would you rather?’… to be able to read minds or predict the future? To be invisible or to fly? I love playing that game. I love hearing how the boys’ minds work. Would you rather be a lion or a tiger? Why? Would you rather be President Business or Batman? Oh, really?

We drove past two horse racing tracks. Past a lagoon of some sort. Over a lake that had no water whatsoever. Into valleys and beside great hills and ridges.

For some reason, I thought San Diego would be flat like a pancake. For some reason, I expected it to be developed and suburbanized all the way to LA. I was wrong on both accounts.

rainHowever, as we took the road to Legoland, the road called, wisely enough, Legoland rd, a bit of rain began to fall and it occured to us that we didn’t have any rain-gear or warm clothes with us.

Who needs such things in SoCal?

Apparently, we do.

Was this a horrible start to what HAD to be the best day ever?

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Day 1 – Today, We Are English

Posted on April 5, 2014 by Joe Cummings

Day 1 – Today, We Are English

At 6:30am, as we lay in bed, the Prettiest-girl-in-the-world and I overheard the boys say how excited they were about the day. They were going to Legoland!!!

3 exclamation points in their voices. Maybe 4.

lego movieWe were still tired, but how could we sleep in when there was the land of lego to see, the land where everything was awesome?

So we got up.

I needed to head out to grab supplies since we had to depack so much, so I asked at the hotel desk where was the best place to resupply? Walgreens, they suggested. They gave me directions. Take a left at the bottom of the driveway. Drive along Taylor road or street or highway and it’ll turn into Rosencrantz, (not Guildenstern) and on the right would be a Walgreens.

Ok, easy enough, but I had that deep, dark fear I’d get lost.

Long story short, I didn’t get lost, but nor did I ever find that Walgreens. But this is the land of malls and I found a grocery store that was open. At 7am! I bought all the things we’d left behind and some pepto to counter balance the wasabi nuts and tortilla soup someone ate last night. Then I headed back.

Everyone was up and we hit our first challenge of the day:  1 bathroom. 4 people. Hard to all brush our teeth, have showers, floss, blow dry our hair (or gel it), put on deo, sunscreen, makeup… in such a tiny space.

We had to do it one at a time. But the boys were so excited to go, they were ready in record time, so for a laugh, while the Prettiest-girl-in-the-world got ready, the boys and I decided to be English.

Upper class English at that.

Just because we could.

My apologies to any of my English friends for what followed.

flagMe: “Right, oh, gentlemen, today we are English.”

The oldest one was the first to respond, and respond correctly. “Jolly good.”

Me: “Today, we shall speak in English accents, which is in fact, an accent not too dissimilar from how we now speak, and we shall use ten words when, in truth and without a doubt, only one word is utterly and completely necessary.”

“Jolly good, sir,” pipped the oldest.

“Jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly good,” said the youngest, using, as was required, far more words than necessary.

We straightened our backs and I asked, “So, young chaps, how were the crumpets you feasted upon this morning?”

The oldest: “The crumpets were the finest crumpets, sir.” Oh, I sure loved the ‘sir’ addition to their speech.

The youngest: “What? What’s crumpets… I mean, fine sir.”

the queen“Excellent, most excellent,” I said. “Well then, I think we shall put our hands behind our backs and stand even straighter and think lofty thoughts about our queen.” Where upon I began to sing God Save the Queen.

They hummed along, which was, and indeed remains, a surprise that they would not know the song.  Then, after I had finished, I added, “And when mommy comes out, she shall inspect us and ensure that we are presentable enough for the public.”

The oldest: “And if he fail the inspection, mommmy will spank our bottoms.” Though how he knew about bottom spanking, I have no idea.

We all laughed.

“Just so,” I said. “Well played.”

The English are polite, I told them. The English do talk about farting all the time or run around shouting at their brother to stop licking them in they eye. Nor do they eat gargle milk at the table. Nor do they ever ask, ‘are we there, yet.” NEVER.

More importantly, the English are always nice to their mommies.

They agreed.

So we would be English today?

“Yes, sir!”

The more we spoke, the more ideas we came up with of what if meant to be English, the more we laughed.

When the Prettiest-girl-in-the-world came out, she must have wondered why we were lined up against the wall all giggling.

It was good to be English.

I hoped it was a sign of how the day would play out.

 

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Disaster For a Writer

Posted on April 4, 2014 by Joe Cummings

Disaster For a Writer

What is the worst thing that can happen to a travel/life writer?

Nothing.

In fact, the worst thing is that only good things happen. What’s there to write about then? Huh? What?

allegiant airAirplane (Allegiant) arrived on time.

We didn’t have any problems with the luggage despite me fussing about it for about 2 hours.

The flight was fine. We had snacks. No one threw up. No babies cried. No one was drunk and obnoxious. Even me. The boys were great. Even the airline hostesses or whatever they are called these days were pleasant.

Very disappointing.

IMG_0087Then we arrived ahead of schedule. Found our car without any big problems. From Budget. A Galant. Silver. Found the hotel with the great navigation of the Prettiest-girl- in-the-world. Hilton Doubletree on the hotel circle. Checked in without problems. The room was fantastic.

The boys loved the bunk beds. We loved that we could have a room to ourselves.

IMG_3387We ate late, but had a fantastic meal. At least one of us smelled the flowers.

I guess the only thing that went wrong was a bracket on my braces fell off. Wires came loose. Blah, blah, blah. These things always have to happen on the first day. It’s a rule.

I’ll phone tomorrow. It could be a big deal. Or not.

Maybe I’m just too exhausted to care that much.

Tomorrow – Legoland!

Hopefully it’ll be equally awesome.

Cuz awesome is kinda fun. Even if it makes for bad writing.

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10 Things I Had To Leave Behind

Posted on April 4, 2014 by Joe Cummings

10 Things I Had To Leave Behind

baggageNowadays, the airlines have limits on the baggage weight. So, being a ‘rules’ guy, and having heard that Allegiant airlines was pretty strict about their baggage weight, I didn’t want to take anything that I didn’t absolutely need.

These things were taken out

1) My knife. Ok, it was a Swiss army knife, but the likelihood of me having to start a fire, gut a fish or saw a very, very small log (or my arm if I was trapped by a boulder) was pretty low. And I didn’t see it of much use as a self-defence weapon, I mean, why bring a knife to what would likely be a gunfight?

2) All explosives. Like my can of shaving cream. Or Axe sexy-smell-good stuff. Apparently aerosols are not something you want to take on a plane these days. I dunno why, I took them on planes forever, but these are different times I guess.

3) All liquids. Hey, I can buy some super spikey gel or pineapple-scented hand sanitizer or green, vita-juice in San Diego. If I had to cut weight, this was a good place to cut it.

catan4) All board games. No playing Catan while we’re away.

5) My dog. Vegas went to the doggie hotel to play with the other doggies. In fairness, she was the first thing I knew I couldn’t take. Weight restrictions or not

6) All adult toys. No way I want anyone, anywhere, at any time opening up a bag and asking. Ok, what is this? Not that I have any, you understand, I’m just saying.

7) My stuffed animals. I could claim they’d be for the boys, but…

8) My dress shoes. As nice as they are, let’s face it, the lions in the San Diego Zoo don’t care how awesome I look in them. So why bring them?

duck-dynasty19) My electric beard trimmer. I’ll just have to go all duck dynasty.

10)        All books. Ack. This was not easy. I love to pack a good hundred pounds of books and carry them all around the globe while never actually reading one of them. I guess they’re like a really hard security blanket.

As it turned out, they didn’t weigh the bags at all. So I could have brought Catan afterall.

However, I’m thankful they didn’t weigh me in when I got on the plane. What if that becomes a thing? Sir, you weighed 200lbs before going to the land of $5 all you can eat burger buffets and now you come back weighing 245. Please pay for you excess weight.

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How to Write on Vacation

Posted on April 4, 2014 by Joe Cummings

How to Write on Vacation.

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