Date Night – Flirting in a Bookstore

You gotta fight, for your right to have daaaaate nights. Thanks, Beastie Boys

Time to Talk About Date Nights

One of the hardest things to do with work and hockey games and concerts and sick kids and exhausted husbands is to find couple time.

For a wedding gift, a friend, Sheila Watson, gave us 12 months of date night ideas – We have done half of them. I’ll do up a blog on them all, but this one was a little different. We had to go to a bookstore, hunt for books we might ordinarily choose, (book list on tomorrow’s blog) and flirt ‘shamelessly’ while doing that.

Challenge accepted.

So, I put on my flirting pants, jelled up my hair, and grabbed a handful of breath mints. The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World wasn’t so sure about this, but I was sure I could flirt up a storm.

Here’s how it went. At least in my mind.

A good place to flirt. A bookstore. Chapters-Indigo. Unless, you know, you’re me

As per our instructions, we bought a coffee at the attached Starbucks and went into Chapters-Indigo. I went straight away to the history section, once grand, now reduced to a few shelves of books. I found a perfect one for The-Oldest, then decided to make my first flirting move.

I eased up beside The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World. She looked so beautiful and I’m surprised she doesn’t get hit on a ton in bookstores, grocery stores, and comicons.

“Hey, wanna come back to my basement with me,” I said. “I’m sure my mom will be ok with me having a girl over.”

“How old are you?”

“50. Ish.”

“I’m calling 911.”

Strike one.

I went over, again, as she was looking in the diet book section.

Me: “So, trying to lose some weight?”

“Do I need to lose some weight?”

“I dunno, let’s ask around.”

“I’m calling the manager.”

Strike two.

Next time I tried while she was in the children’s book area.

“Hey, could you help me. My hands are full and I need to get something out of my pocket. Could you reach in and grab it? The front pocket.”

“I have bear spray in my purse.”

Strike 3. But I didn’t give up.

“Hey, I saw on your Facebook page that you were coming down to the bookstore.”

“Ah, what?”

“So I looked you up. Here’s a white-chocolate mocha, double-shot, with extra sprinkles, no whipped cream, just the way you like it.”

“Ah. I’m not drinking that.”

“No problem. Looking for a book on dogs? I know you like dogs. A lot. And half-naked pictures of Thor.”

“Uhg! I hate Facebook. Please stand at least 10 feet away from me.”

flirting

Flirting done by the masters.

Hmmm.

Ok, so it wasn’t going well, but never surrender, right?

While she was looking at 50 Shades, errr, I mean, the self-help section, I came up to her, again.

“I love your hair. My grandma does her hair just like that.”

“Go away.”

“Bookstores make me want to go poop.”

“That was inappropriate.”

“I was sharing something personal. The flirting manual says I should share something personal.”

“Not that.”

“I like bees.”

“Are you out on a day pass?”

“Maybe…”

“Is your special needs helper nearby?”

“I’ll leave.”

So, I guess I didn’t do as well as I thought I would. However, I still got to go home with The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World. A total win!

If you want to see what books we searched for, check out tomorrow’s blog.

How would you flirt in a bookstore?

 

flirting

I may not be the only one who struggles with flirting in a bookstore

 

About Joe Cummings

Aquarius. Traveler. Gamer. Writer. A New Parent. 4 of these things are easy. One is not. But the journey is that much better for the new people in my life. A life I want to share with others, to help them, maybe, to make them feel less alone, sure, to connect with the greater world, absolutely.
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4 Responses to Date Night – Flirting in a Bookstore

  1. Pingback: Date Night – Flirting in a Bookstore | About A Stepdad

  2. michaelscummings says:

    I chortled audibly a lot! Thanks!

  3. Vonnie says:

    Love your sense of humour. This blog made me giggle.

  4. You made my day! Hilarious

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