Why Can’t I Live A Fantasy Life?

Really the first day of school was today. Oh sure they went to school yesterday, but after a detailed interrogation of both boys, it seems like they pretty much sat in class, talked about what they did over the summer and then went to an assembly.

Not hard stuff.

Today, though, the real schooling began.

And the Oldest was not ready for it. I’m going to be walking him to school so he’ll know the route and feel a little safer. He used to get dropped off at daycare until they decided he was too old for that. So now he’s got a 20 min walk to do.

Here’s my fantasy of how this should have gone.

We’re getting ready to go. It’s 8:15.

Me: “Good to go?”

Him: “Sir, yes, sir. I have my lunch packed, the lunch that I made myself last night. I have my backpack secured on my back. I have all my pencils sharpened and sorted by size.” (in my fantasy, they still use pencils for something.) “I also have my phone charged and in my pocket.” (And I have mine, so neither one of us has to run around shouting, where the heck did I put my phone, I had it only 2 minutes ago???)

Him: “We are good to go, sir.”

Me: “Outstanding! What’s the weather like outside?”

Him: “Perfect, sir. It should be a lovely walk.” (Unlike today when it started to rain on me about half way there and I forgot my hood and an umbrella.)

Me: “Outstanding!” (in my fantasy world, everything is outstanding).

Him: “Shall we talk about history on way to school or would you like me to recite some Shakespeare?”

Me: “I think we’ll just jog.” (in my fantasy I’m in great shape).

Him: “Excellent suggestion, sir.”

Sadly, it didn’t turn out quite how I imagined. There was less Shakespeare and more Clash of Clans. There was less jogging and more shuffling of feet. I don’t even think I said ‘outstanding,” once, and where the Oldest had finally found his phone after 5 minutes of panicked looking, well, the less said the better.

However, I have begun to learn to readjust my expectations.

Fast!

My new expectations are as follows.

He has pants on.

He has food.

That’s it. Anything more is, as a hungry person once said, “gravy.”

And that may just be the secret to success. Set the bar so low that I get to put a win in the column if either of the boys remembers to wear shoes.

However, let’s look at this from another POV.

What would his fantasy day looked like?

I’ll have that tomorrow.