The First Day
Before I get to the three valuable lessons I learned on the first day, let me bring you up-to -date.
Pretty simple. I was sure nothing would go wrong.
We didn’t miss the ferry. The usual random loading didn’t drive me insane. Neither of the boys fell off the ferry. Neither threw up on anyone. The traffic in wasn’t bad and the sky was purple and pink and amazing.
But for the next week, it would be home. The Accent Inn didn’t have access to a pool, but it did promise a new breakfast room and free wi-fi. Breakfast, the boys couldn’t give a damn about, but ever since they have discovered Clash of Clans, they don’t want to be any place where there isn’t wi-fi.
We unpacked our 8 bags, and the boys went to sleep without any fuss. Like they were plotting something. It worries me most when they’re quiet.
But we all got a pretty good sleep.
I know that doesn’t make for a good story, but it does make for a good start to any vacation. That made me confident the entire vacation would be awesome. And, like a good super-villain, I was sure ALL my plans would come to fruition.
Then we hit the first challenge. We raced downstairs with only 15 min before breakfast time was over. And we found…
My inner-German recoiled at this. I wanted to get out my high leather boots and riding crop and restore order, but I’d left them at home.
The boys looked a bit shell-shocked, but I knew they were our ace in the hole.
“Ok, grab that last cream cheese packet before the Asian lady with the burnt bagal realizes it’s the last one.”
“The girl has just dropped off more spoons. Grab 4 while everyone else is loading up on coffee.”
“There’s a seat, man, a seat! Get it! Run, Forrest, Run!”
Somehow we managed to get food, a place to sit and we ate like a dozen people stood in the doorway glaring at everyone who had a table, cuz, like there were a dozen people standing in the doorway glaring at everyone who had a table.
I had learned my first lesson of the adventure. Get to the food early. Not 15 min before breakfast ended.
Somewhat full, we headed off to our first destination. The Hillside Mall. We needed supplies and I wanted to look around.
Man, has that mall changed. It’s bright and shiny. Even the bathroom. I wanted to take a picture of just how beautiful the bathroom was, but it’s kinda frowned upon for a guy to take pictures in there so take my word for it.
It was going to the bathroom that I learned lesson #2.
I asked The-Youngest if he wanted a donut as we manned up to the urinals and unzipped. His mom was getting a tall, non-fat, no whip, cinnamon dolce latte and me, being justjoe, was going to get a timmies coffee, but I could get him a donut as well. He said sure and mumbled something about a cookie while piddling.
I learned my second lesson. When someone mumbles while piddling, they are actually giving you important information that they can later say they told you about.
The last lesson was not that sometimes the boys will con the Prettiest-girl-in-the-world and I, (that’s something I already know, I just forget it sometimes,) no, it was that The Oldest may need some help when it comes to talking to girls.
Hell, most guys need help, if truth be told, but he’s at that awkward stage when he goes beet red when forced to talk to, you know, a girl.
He was on the hunt for a case for his iphone. A black one, of course. With lightning bolts. And skulls. Lots of skulls. No, nothing with pink bunny ears! No, not that one with sparkly jewels!!!
Now, while it doesn’t speak well to my character as a human being, I find this massively entertaining to watch. I do.
He couldn’t even muster the basic guy move, the point and grunt.
“Ugh. That. There. Want.”
However, we don’t have all the time in the world, so we learned we had to intervene. It was kind of a game. He’d pretend to look at an iphone cover that was vaguely black, while we grilled the staff about one with lightning bolts and skulls.
But you know what, after the first couple of fails, he was able ask a girl for what he wanted. It wasn’t in a loud, booming let’s-get-ready-to-rumble-voice, but he got the job done and I was so proud of him.
He overcame his fear.
With all our supplies in bags and the Prettiest-girl-in-the-world somehow managing not to wander into any of the shoe stores having incredible sales on, we went off to our next adventure.
A trip to a fort.