Dog Day Afternoon

What would a more restful vacation look like for you?

Ours began with a sleep-in, then a peaceful market day in Nyack, a quick game of hide and seek in a library, followed by a visit to a cemetery. Nothing was rushed. Nothing was urgent. It wasn’t exhaustingly humid and hot. There weren’t crowds of sweaty people jostling for room on a subway. There weren’t monks trying to scam you with a bracelet con.

Just a nice, easy day.

The latter part of the day had us trek out to do supper at my youngest cousin’s house. As a Canadian, I see things a little differently as we drove there. Banners honoring fallen soldiers hung from highway lamps. Old wooden houses stood on spacious yards. We passed under stone rail bridges that could have stood since the 1850s. Many houses still had porches.

Nobody shot at us.

It was enchanting. A different world.

Our cousin’s house was a lovely 2 story structure with a front yard so HUGE, I would have to mow it with a riding mower (or hire someone to do it.) Waiting for us inside, I mean apart from our cousin, were doggies!

Doggies!

Ever since we lost our doggeroo, aka the Spazadoodle, I’ve missed having dogs around. They are the greatest creatures on the planet, apart from capybaras or the extra snuggly-looking hedgehogs. Our cousin had two. One a little shy at first, the other a total lap muffin.

Oddly enough, the grumpy one took a liking to The-Youngest. Maybe he looked like a grumpy one too. The other one slipped in between The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World and The-Oldest. He was a pro snuggler – he got pats from two people at once. No doggies sat with me. I felt left out. Packless. Unloved.

But we had the best time chatting with our cousins. The. Best. Time. We all laughed, shared our experiences with New York, talked a bit about their mom, and ate like kings (though the dogs ate like kings of kings.)

Somehow I managed not to say anything stupid or tell an off color joke or simply sit in a chair in the corner and remain sullenly silent (and dogless). Even The-Youngest (known for his great ability to disappear and find a dark place where he can look at his phone) stayed engaged and joined in the conversation.

As an aside, The-Oldest would like to point out that there was not a piano there.

What struck me at that moment was how much the boys had grown up. Oh sure, they don’t look like kids anymore, but they have more of a comfortable confidence about them. The-Oldest loves to talk about music, duh, but now he’s adept at asking about other people, what they love to do, what experiences they’ve had, and who is their favourite classical composer besides Mozart.

Since moving out, he’s learned a ton of ‘how to deal with all the crap life throws at you’ lessons. He’s not looked to us to solve anything. He’s not asked for money even when he’s needed it (so we gave it to him anyway). He’s taken on UBC and graduated on the Dean’s List. In his experiences with the music industry, he’s slowly beginning to believe that he’s the real deal, that he does have talent, that he can make it in this harsh world.

In The-Youngest, though, I have seen the biggest change in the last year. Sure, he spends more time on his hair than The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World, but he’s becoming a very competent young man. Ok, like he’s got us all beat with his ability to navigate, but he’s no longer afraid to talk to people he barely knows, he’s as funny as hell when talking about his experiences as a cook or student, and he’s remarkably independent. Left alone in a city, he could find food, shelter, and likely a girlfriend. I would fail at two of those.

This terrifies his mom, though. Who knows what he’ll want to do next? Go to Europe by himself on a ski trip? Try wingsuit flying off a mountain? Join a motorcycle gang? Move away?

Who knows what trouble he’ll get into, but I have confidence, yeah, I said it, CONFIDENCE, that he’ll be fine.

As I sat there, looking at them, I realized how proud I am of the men they are becoming. Good men. Kind men. Competent men.

I teared up a bit.

It could have been the dog hair though.

We left having had fantastic family time. It was relaxed. It was like we’d known them forever and been best of friends. The-Prettiest-Girl-in-the-World really connected with both of them (and even my youngest’s cousin’s daughter), but then she’s like that. She connects with everyone. It’s truly remarkable.

My oldest cousin drove us back to the apartment in Manhattan (not an easy drive) and as we drove over the Washington Bridge, I think we all looked at the lights of New York City with a little sense of loss. We were going home tomorrow.